The Language of Love Part Two

PussyGirl was in shock. There was no other way to describe it.

How, she wondered, could anyone be so crass? Did StargazerMan really think that this would help his cause in any way; or indeed, that she would fall for it. The lesson here was clear - short and sweet - a man will say ANYTHING in order to get the girl, regardless of the voracity of the statement.

You question this, dear reader? Read on!

A transcript of the final excahnges between PG and StargazerMan:

SGM: It's so good to speak with you again PG
PG: Likewise oh astral man
SGM: Can I ask you a question?
PG: Please do, ask away.
SGM: Because it has been on my mind for some time
PG: Ah yes, would that be the past eight months or so?
SGM: Oh, don't be like that
PG: Like what?
SGM: You know I like you
PG: Really?
SGM: Yes, I have thought about you constantly
PG: Aha, so can I conclude then, that you are not a man of action?
SGM: What do you mean?
PG: Well, you thought a lot, but you did not convert that into a meaningful, tangible action - I never heard from you after you non appearance, so I assumed, you had lost interest.
SGM: Well, come on now, sweet kitten, I thought about you a lot, I was just busy, out of the country, working on a top level astro-project across the pond.
PG: I see, well thanks for the postcard!
SGM: Oh please, you know how busy I am with work.
PG: That I do, oh telescopic expert, and I would not want to drag you away from it, but as a scientist, you must recognise that your claims do not bear out in practice. Let me explain; if you meet a girl, woo her and are keen on her, is it not at least one bit logical to continue contact with her, whatever the land or sea mass divide?
SGM: But you see, I couldn't, I was so busy. But now I am back and I want to see you.
PG: Well, I am not convinced.
SGM: Now, be truthful dear cat, you must have thought of me a little bit......
PG: No, not at all. Once you failed to contact me, I felt it best to follow the advice of not wasting time thinking about someone who doesn't think about me......
SGM: Really? Not at all? Not one little bit........
PG: How many ways would you like me to say it?

This circular conversation continued for some time, with our feline friend politely indicating that much as he may wish it to be true, she had not spent hours considering how he was and where he was. She simply had given up all hope. But SGM was not to be so easily dissuaded, and there it was, it came crashing out of the nowhere of cyberspace and hit her square in the face, flashing across the screen:

SGM: Dear Pussy of mine, please meet with me and say we can try again. I think you know, as do I, that we are in love with each other; and we should not try and resist it..........

Once she had realigned her jaw, PG saw a shade of cat crimson and felt it time to remonstrate:

PG: Listen up! You may well want to try and pick up where we left off, but you should know dear that it is simply not cricket to bail out on a girl for months on end and then appear, from the vacuum of cyberspace, declaring love and lust and all things carnal!

SGM: Oh PG, please, you know we are in love. I cannot stop thinking about you.

PG thought for a moment, and then did the only reasonable thing she could think of - with a click of her faithful mouse, she banished the StarMan from her cyberuniverse and shut down her PC.

"Hmmmmmm," she mused, "the lengths some will go to. What was that line about men confusing love with sex and woman confusing sex with love? That noise she heard, that was the sound of a populist theory being well and truly debunked.......